It's a Blue day

I wish the human body had multiple switches we could pull at will... on/off buttons for the heart, brain, ears, emotions, memory... so we could have some sort of control and escape the overload/freakin out/insomnia episodes.

No rescue team needed, I haven't heard some terrible news about loved ones or my -maybe- future job... I'm just waiting... waiting for my life to jump start... and the stress is short circuiting my brain... can't sleep, I thrive on caffeine and sugar and I'm so restless I annoy myself!

...and I still have one week left before knowing if I'll need to hit the panic-ulcer-suicidal-binge-drinking button... if I'll be bouncing off the walls, or bouncing off the walls in a padded cell.

In the mean time, I'll try an forget my name with the first phase of my birthday party tomorrow... don't know where I'll be, but I'll be drunk out of my skull... that should help!
Proper family dinner Tuesday (my actual birthday) followed by more parties Wednesday, Friday and Saturday... And hopefully at this point I'll have more to celebrate than just another year that passed.