Monday, March 31, 2008

Week 3... (here comes trouble)

My first circuit... built it all myself.. soldering and all ;)

Had my second exam this morning... 100% :P It's official, I'm a freakin genius lol!

We went to the pier after, to see the class ahead of us fly the rovs... HMG!!!! it looks like so much fun!!!!! Vis was great so we could see loads of fish, the sunken tanks and the rovs' cages perfectly. One of the teacher explained to me how the sonar works, and we watch the guys hovering around, picking bits of metal and bringing them to the cage... Ho, I chose a good life for myself!!!!

One of the instructor was saying he's never met an rov pilot that was normal... he said "you can always tell who the rov guys are in a crew... they're the one playing weird music in the shack.. smoking weird substances, drinking and playing Playstation all the time". :) 'nough said...

The weekend was pretty relax, there's a bad bout of flu going around and I caught a bit of it. So I slept most of Friday and Saturday. We went to see a show on Thursday night.... and what was suppose to be a relax evening turned into multiple shots of whisky and vodka (Slawec, the Polish guy says there are many people in Poland who would love to know me... hehehe).
Let's just say that Friday wasn't very productive for any of us :P Half of the class left after lunch (including me) the others just entertained themselves by wiring a plug.

Sunday was revision time for the exam, it was pouring rain so it didn't matter we had to stay in to study.

We finished the day today by building our first (well, my first anyway) circuit. I didn't burn myself on the soldering iron (woohoo!!!) and managed to do a more than decent job at wiring everything (thanks grand-papa pour les lecons de soudure :P). Now I'm off to the pub for a celebration of the second exam :)

But first.. here comes the trouble part... a new bunch of sat divers arrived this weekend... one of them was hanging around after the exam this morning and started talking to me... He's really nice (and handsome!!!!)... but... he looks disturbingly like the one I'm trying to forget!!! :(
It's insane how alike they are... except that Jim has blue eyes.
He seems interested to know me too... This is very unsettling... :S

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

This week is flashing by!

I can't believe how fast this week is going!

I forgot to say a couple of things yesterday...
The Hogwarts Express only runs from May 19th to September, so I wont be able to ride it :(
It leaves from Fort William, and goes to Mallaig, twice a day. It passes on the bridge we see in the movie, and through most of the grounds used for the Hogwarts surroundings (including Hagrid's hut). I can still go to Mallaig, but in a regular train.. not the red, steam engine one... I plan to go soon, Mallaig was the setting of a trilogy I read, so I want to see the castle... :P

Also, the trail to Ben Nevis was used for the shooting of Braveheart! All the scenes from the village were filmed there.. you recognise the hills easily, even though the houses are not there anymore.

And I saw Gollum this weekend.. not kidding! He is married, has a kid.. and was visiting Fort William for the Easter Holiday. Actually it was Smeagol... he still had hair. The resemblance was such that I would have thought he was the actor who played the role... if it wasn't for the fact that Andy Serkis looks nothing like his character...
He must get that all the time though, cause even though I tried not staring at him too much, he realized I was looking and kinda shied away...


In the classroom, I finally figured out how to follow the strange pace of our new teacher. I need my eyes to swivel independently like a chameleon, so one looks at the board and the other at my notebook. Then I need to split my brain in quarters, so one will hear and register what Vince is saying, one will control my hand to write notes, one will record what my eye on the notes sees so I don't write sideways and the other will read and record the board.... easy! shoulda thought of that sooner. :P

Seriously it's not so bad.. but you can't skip a beat or you're fucked. I looked down 2 seconds to check an inductor that was passing around and missed the definition of inductors... so for the next 15 minutes I kept wondering what L meant and who the fuck was Henri :P
(Inductors are represented by the letter L and their reactance is calculated in henries)
It's funny tough, every time Gareth gets frustrated cause the pace is too fast for him, he starts slamming things and throwing his head back... so I have a way to know I'm not the only one confused :P

Simone (Si-mo-nay.. Italian) took Monday's test again today and he passed! Good for him, but I wonder how he's gonna do this week. We get 3 chances to redo every exam if we fail them.


I tried to find a Bodum this week.... because the Scots think that instant coffee really is coffee (are they insane?!) and that's all there is at the Center... even in the morning!!!!! aaaaarg... I can't live like this!!! need co-ff-ee!!!! So I went to buy a Bodum at the grocery store... didn't have any.. other grocery store... none... Woolworth... nope.. electric store? nada... Argos (a catalog order place like distribution aux consommateurs)... niet... every other tourist/outdoor equipment shops... non!!!! (I'm running out of way to say "on n'en a pas" so I'll stop there). There is not one place in Fort William to get a freakin' bodum!!!!! I have to try Inverness or Glasgow!

There are restaurants and coffee shops who serve really good lattes... but when they open I'm already in class :( My only resort for a half-decent coffee is *cough*... mcDonalds... :O
Now am I willing to step on my hatred of McD for coffee?... sadly I must say I went over to the dark side twice :(

---So please... friends who care---
---Send Bodum to the Underwater Center asap if you wish me to retain any sort of sanity!!!---
Underwater Centre
An Aird
Fort William
PH33 6AN

(and please include ground coffee with it... I don't trust those tea drinkers to make the difference between a coffee bean and a walnut)
thank you ;)

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Week 2 on it's way

I was too busy sampling Whisky to write this weekend ;) ... so here it goes...

Friday night we (that is my classmates and me) had diner at the school and went out for drinks, first at the Croft for a couple of pints and then at the Grog and Gruel. There was a band playing (a guy on the guitar and one on the flute/bagpipes/drum) traditional Scottish music. Tom filmed with his phone... once I find how to transfer it to my computer I'll post it.
By that time Gareth and me started trying the different whiskys offered in this fine establishment :) He outdrinks me 3 to 1!!! never saw that! (I'll eventually have pictures of all my classmates/friends but, sadly, I have none from the weekend.. I didn't have my camera).

A bit later, the sexiest guy I have seen in my life entered the place. He must have figured out a way to have an invisible computer screen placed in front of him permanently... cause this kind of body only exist once reworked in photoshop for magazine's add... purrrrrfect!!!!
(details for girls only... he was tall (duh!), long blond hair a bit curly, full lips and awesome smile, baby face, the most incredible v-shape there ever was!!!, all muscles, and absolutely NO body hair :P.. -Mui, un peu le look a Jeremy, Marie-Lise.. babyface genre Robin a 18ans-)
He looked young, but considering that he was drinking I'll assume he was over 21... so I shouldn't get arrested... hehehe

Saturday I moved from the Ossian hotel to room 10 in the Underwater Center. I was hoping I'd be one of the lucky who has internet access in the room... I am!!! It depends how far the room is from the wifi signal.. and I'm right on top of it! Plus, I'm on the 3rd floor, where there is only 3 rooms.. so it's a lot quieter than on the 2nd floor... and my next door neighbor is a friend of Dustin, who told me about the Center last summer (it is a waaaaay too small world!!!!)!

We went out again that night, a bit more quiet though.. we tried the Station... turns out it's the bar where all the locals retards hangout.. so we didn't stay long and ended up at the Grog (think that's going to be "my" place for the remainder of the 6 weeks...).

Easter Sunday, I went to a real nice little cafe for scones (see pictures in the new album). Food rarely tastes as good as it looks... but in this case it did! yuuuummmm!!! A bunch of us then proceeded to find a pub that would show a specific football game (don't ask me which one... there's just too many teams and leagues and levels and whatever)... managed to find one a bit out of town. It was near a general store so I left them there to go get a couple of things I needed for my room (no matter how much I try, I just can't get excited about football... it can't compete with hockey :P)

We also did a bit of study for the exam on Monday morning... some of the guys we're starting to freak out about all the maths...
We're lucky, because Tom has a master's in electronics.. so he ends up being teacher to the rest of us (he only took the class as a refresher). He is from the Uk, so is Gareth, the rest of us are from Italy, Polland, France, Zimbaboue(!) and Canada (Kevin is from Nova Scotia).

So Monday was exam day... I got 95%!!! WEEHEE!!! (3rd highest grade.. both guys with a master degree in electronic got 100% :P)
At night I went swimming (haven't tried the giant slide yet.. it's always full of kids! :S) and then met the class for a celebrating pint :)
We changed teacher, we now have Vince.. a different rhythm.. he tends to throw a million things in 5 seconds, so you feel really stupid and don't get any of it, but then goes back and redoes all of it, with graphs and the circuit boards we practice on (pic on the album). It's a bit weird, but I guess I'll get use to it.

We started working on transistors.. recognizing the different kinds and what they do... so when I come home I'll be able to repair our LED Christmas lights if they ever break! (see mom? this course is really worth the price! ;) ). That's about all we've done so far this week... diodes, zener diodes, thermistors, thyristors, triacs... plug them on a board and measure the variations in voltage and current... all very useful if we ever need to repair a circuit in an ROV.. but completely useless too, because in real life no one repairs anymore, they just change the whole board...

Friday, March 21, 2008

First week is over.. 6 more to go!

That is a Falcon... one of the ROVs I'll learn to fly in 3 weeks... I can't wait!!!

First week of class is already over... it went by quickly, although the first 2 days felt like a month! We got through most of the basic electronic knowledge.. so now I understand what I see when I look at the transformer of my computer or when I see P=VxI or V=IxR or (R2xR3)/(R2+R3)= ?ohms :P
but I must admit that the whole electromagnetic force business is still a bit blurry... that RMS (root mean square) crap bugs me.. I can do the equation but visualizing the damn thing is still hard... lucky all that theory wont be of any use to fly my ROV :D (if I have to repair it it's another story.. but I'll see when I get there)

I've built my first circuit this afternoon and didn't short it (or as the teacher would say "didn't let the smoke escape" :P) so yay!
One of the guys almost had a meltdown (his head, not his circuit) cause he just didn't get it.. what formula to use where and where this current came from and what the hell is the voltage and whaaaaaaaaaaat?!?!?!?

I haven't reach any level of panic yet and hope it will stay this way. I've stopped waiting for my threshold to be reached... When I don't get something right away, it usually becomes clear in the next 5 minutes. I think I can do this!

I'm moving in the Center tomorrow afternoon, so I'll be able to stay online later (my 11pm is 7pm for you North Americans :P). If I'm lucky I'll have a connection in my room (some of them do, depending how close you are to the computer room) but if not, I can still be in the c-room in my pajamas....

I'll take some pictures of the Center and the town tomorrow, so you can see where I live... the town is getting more and more enjoyable as I meet other students (needless to say.. all guys).
We're going to the pub tonight for some whisky sampling :)
I found a cool gym, the pool has a giant water slide and a sauna... where I plan to sleep sometimes to keep warm :P

My only complaint for this first week is that my room's window at the B&B has no insulation whatsoever and is right on high street, where the pubs are... so from 10pm to 1am there are bunches of drunks passing right under it... screaming, singing, laughing at the top of their lungs (some drunken baboons were trying to make their lives into a musical last night) and it's like they are right in my room (open or closed, that window lets in the same amount of decibels). So the hours of sleep I get are fewer than I want or need... but I don't need to wake up at 7am tomorrow, and the Center being by the lake, I wont be in the middle of the pub circuit anymore.

Ok, so more to come soon.. now I'm going DRINKING!!!! moohoohahahahahaha!!!! :P

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Safety first!!!

Although most companies have very strict safety rules... there's always the odd one out :P

Tuesday, March 18, 2008


Ho and I found the real Hogwarts Express!!!!
It's a steam engine that goes through the west islands.. where many distilleries are... and it is where they filmed the rides to Hogwarts! hehehe... I wasn't kidding about the wild scenery coming here...
I am so gonna spend a weekend there ;)

another quick update

Part of the Ben Nevis (the snow there) and a fading rainbow in front...

Day two of classes... went so much better!!! (In my head anyway)

We saw a bit more of basic electronics today.. and I still get it (I'm starting to think my brain is in fact in perfect working order... I had many doubts about that). The mood was a lot lighter today too, as people get to know each other and start joking around. Paul, our teacher, is wonderful.. he has a way of explaining things so they are clear and simple, and he's funny as hell too!

We saw a couple of ROVs, huge one and basic size.. and got to play a bit with unplugged remote controls/joysticks.... I CAN'T WAIT TO START FLYING THOSE THINGS!!!!!! It really is like playing Nintendo... :D

But actually it is more like controlling a diver... you see through the "eyes" of the ROV, so peripheral vision is reduced like when wearing a mask.. and you have to deal with buoyancy and currents, surge and all, plus, to make it easier.. Loch Linnhe (where we are) is mostly salt water from the Atlantic, but gets a lot of fresh water from surrounding rivers... so your buoyancy changes radically at some random depth, when you hit the salt water.

So this should be a lot of fun... first week is dry week, revision and text books, but after that we'll start building circuits and do trouble shooting exercises... so I'll get to burn myself with soldering irons and get electrocuted on a daily basis :P
And the last 3 weeks are flying lessons, search and recovery exercises... playing with the ROVs basically :)

I also found lots of website and companies to get work after... I won't have anything to do with oil business... but telecommunications, archaeology and scientific research all need rovs... so yay!

So that's it... still no nightlife, but we decided we'd create our own in the pubs ;)
Jetlag is still a bitch but I found good coffee...
The packed lunch provided is crap, so I got tupperwares to keep some of the dinner food (which is awesome) for lunch next day...
I'll definitely come back with an accent.. I hear it already :)

Monday, March 17, 2008

Quick update

First day of class is over... I have a headache :P

But I remember surprisingly well my high school courses in electronics.... As the teacher was showing us the different circuits and explaining about voltage and amps.. it was all coming back to me... I could hear Marie-Lise talking (we had all our classes together) and almost felt the same way as when I was 16 years old.. weird...

Good news... I'm not the dummest pea in the pod :P there is another guy who's never done any electronics before... and everybody seems nice. Not bad for a first day... It will be a long 4 weeks though.. I can't wait for it to be over and start the piloting part of the course.

I am really tired and don't have internet at my hotel, so that's it for now... next Saturday I'll be moving in the Center so I'll have wi-fi in my room... till then I don't know how often I'll add to this.

But before I log off.. I said in an earlier post that hockey made me happy... right after that I found an article written by someone smarter than me who explains it all better... so there you go.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Moving North

I just boarded the Hogwarts express.. on my way to Fort William (I promise I'll eventually stop with the harry Potter's metaphor.. but for now I still find it funny :P)

And it's official.. there is no ugly in Glasgow.. From what I've seen in Europe, the ugliest part of town is always near the train station.. so when you arrive by train somewhere, it's always very depressing and gloomy looking.... but in Glasgow, even the houses right on the tracks were nice looking! In my exploration of the city, I counted about one ordinary building for every 10 blocks. I love this place...

I went to the Museum of modern art yesterday, the exhibition was "Let me show you somethings" all art pieces were based on medias and light.. similar to a project I've done in one of my Fine Art course at Concordia. It was interesting. Saw a couple of short movies made by students too... I'll have to say more about it when I'm back home... Mui, you would have flipped!

Got my first complaint about this lovely city this morning though... I bought my ticket for Fort William Thursday, at Central Station.. so I'd know right away when I had to leave. Got to the information center, got the ticket, itinerary and all. This morning, I decided to skip lunch and arrived at Central station well in advance. On my way there, a couple asked me where Queen Station was... I said, "well right there", pointing the huge sign for Central Station overhead.. they said, no that's Central Station... so I said I'm sorry I have no idea.. I didn't even know there was more than one station in the city...

They left and I got inside.. looked at the departures board.. and couldn't see a train for Fort William anywhere.. or any departure at 12:21pm for that matter... I sat down, and started to doubt... I checked my ticket.. nothing there.. checked the itinerary and whadayaknow... at the top was written Queen st... not as in queen street as I thought.. but as queen station!
Fuck! So I jumped back up, found a map, and saw Queen Station, 6 blocks from where I was! Right pass my hotel! :S With 20 minutes to get there! So I put all my gear back on, speed walked all the way back and got there with 5 minutes to spare.

My complaint... why didn't the lady who sold me the ticket tell me it was at a different station??? You can tell by my accent I'm not from here (and by the fact that every time they say something I look slightly confused and go “huh? what did you just say?") How was I suppose to know that Queen st meant station and not street (there is a Queen street right by central station...that, if you follow it north 6 blocks, will lead you to Queen station :P). Anyway, I got through the brick wall on time and didn't miss the train. And now I'm heading north... scenery getting wilder and wilder as we go... it's beautiful.

Another thing I've realized... I think the Scottish accent is a hoax... I've notice that when people talk amongst themselves I understand perfectly.. but when they talk to me I don't get squat of what they're saying.. Highlanders do not have a weird accent... they fake one when talking to tourists for the folklore or something :P
But, seriously, it's mostly the different expressions that are confusing... like instead of saying “you want it to go?” they say “you want to take this with you?” (which sounds more like you'v wt tuk u?) once i get a hang of the expressions, figuring out what they're saying will be a lot easier :P.

Welcome to the middle of nowhere :P

The guest house where I'm staying at the moment... there's a little waterfall on the left too...

Fort William is a lovely town, surrounded by mountains, lakes... and that's it! The town center is a pedestrian street, full of shops and restaurants... that all close at 4pm on Saturday and do not open on Sunday... I saw a couple of pubs, all empty... I wonder where everybody is? The town is teeny... but I didn't see anybody that looked like they're divers or studying at the Center... I'm guessing that they all go to Inverness for the weekends cause nightlife here seems...well... non-existent.

I stopped by the Underwater Center to check in. I'll have to stay in a really cool B&B in town for a week... They didn't have a room available for me right away since I need one all to myself cause I wont share with boys :P

I have to go back tomorrow after 2pm to get a tour of the school and know where to go on Monday morning.

I walked around town until sundown. It's lovely and quiet.. daffodils are in bloom and it smells like spring.. but somehow I thought the town would be a bit bigger. It really is a resort place... people come here to climb the Ben Nevis, highest summit of Britain, and to mountain bike, hike... but they do not stay.
So I hope the guys in my class will be ok, or it might get really boring around here... but since I'm the only girl in the whole school (weehee!) I should manage to find one or two to entertain me :P

This is my room for tonight.. I'm moving closer to the school tomorrow

Thursday, March 13, 2008

I finally got to Glasgow!!!

I now know where JK Rowling got her inspiration for the ministry of magic underneath London... it's Heathrow airport... I swear, everytime I stop there it got 3x bigger... by now it must be the exact size of the city of London, and exist on a different plan, right on top of it!

When you get out of the plane, you have to walk miles and miles of endless corridor, even the magic carpets don't make it seem shorter. Once you've reach the end on foot, you get in a shuttle, drive around for 10 minutes, then get off, walk some more, go up and down escalators walk more, hit a security check, keep on walking, stand in line for 1 km, more escalators, another security check where they take your prints and picture, then interrogation (and I tell you at that point she looked like a sphinx!), and finally.. more corridors :S

To make it even better they announce the gate only 30 minutes prior to boarding, and even so, managed to change mine 2 times!!! it was 8 then 7, then 79!!! A crazy house I tell you!!!

Once in the plane, we had to wait because some of the passengers didn't board, so they had to take their checked luggage out.. and once we were ready to go.. we couldn't... a loading truck staled right behind us... We ended up leaving an hour late. By then I had turned into a zombie so time didn't matter anymore.

But I made it to my hotel ok, and since I didn't want to sleep right away (fight the jetlag!!!!) I went and walked around the city.

It is beau-ti-ful!!! I managed to get around with no map and with only one street name in mind (Bath street, where my hotel is)... always a good sign :)

This place is a shopper paradise... so very dangerous for my wallet.. the SHOES!!!! ho man!!!! There's a long beautiful pedestrian street (like Prince-Arthur) full of awesome stores.. clothes, gadgets, bath products, spas... Buchanan Mall is like a really posh Eaton Center and the Princes Gallery, like a more relax Ogilvy... and did I mentioned the SHOES!!!! aarg... lucky I'm staying only two days here... temptation would have been overwhelming. :P

Other observations before I hit the bed...

Not only do people drive, but they walk on the left side too :P

There's way too many red heads.. I feel so.. normal? :S

I saw a 70yo Harry Potter (same glasses, same scarf! No wand or broom though :P)

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Airport madness

After a great night with the buddies, I finished packing and left this afternoon for Dorval airport.

I thought my huge suitcase was a bit heavy, but I took a chance... no can do, the lady at the desk told me it was too heavy and I had to shift things around..
To make it better, In London they are insane with security.. and we're only allowed one carry-on with us.. no matter how small or big. So laptop is one... backpack is two... I'm screwed.

I had to put the heavier stuff (aka, steel cap boots, alarm clock, chargers) in my faithful backpack and send him on its way.. with all the monstrous suitcase :(. I wonder if it will survive the ride.. I've seen what they do with the luggage, my mini-friend doesn't stand a chance. I'll be worried until I get out in Glasgow.. hopefully I'll have more than a pile of electric rubbish left at the end of the journey...

Since I got here really in advance.. hoping to secure an emergency exit with more leg room (failed, I'm stuck with the seat I booked over the net... so I got here early for nothing basically, except that I was able to take my time to repack everything), I now have nothing to do.. security went super quick.. we're not as insane as the States yet, I kept my shoes on!

So that's it, I'm at the airport, and bored out of my skull.. and I'm gonna change seat soon, cause a nice lil familly of 3 screaming kids just decided to sit right next to me :S

I can't wait to be in Glasgow and explore the town, it looks like a cool place.. with the biggest covered shopping area in Scotland.. right by my hotel... weehee!

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Killer weekend it was!

It started with a trip to Cafe Chaos on Thursday night (ok, not officially weekend yet, but then Friday felt like Saturday so I gained one more day.... errr whatever).
I saw people I hadn't talked to in almost a year.. and got to somewhat give new starts to old stories. A nice wrap up before I leave for 2 months again :P

Then Friday was Gary's birthday. See pictures for the whole idea...
Another cool bunch I hadn't seen for ages! That's one thing I love with old friends and good people... no matter how long it's been since you've last talked, it takes about 2 seconds and it's like the months/years apart never existed.

I woke up Saturday feeling still kinda drunk :P and went to my favorite spa to celebrate International women's day properly... with an aromatherapy facial, new hair color.. and my first hair cut in 15 years!!! Luckily, my hair stylist likes long hair so instead of a drastic change (that would have given me a heart attack) we decided to just reshape my hair, to make them stronger without loosing a lot of length... it's a long term project.. we'll see in a year where I'm at.

I got out of there at 5pm... to face the worst blizzard in history! I brushed off the 3 feet of white crap covering my sister's car (I'm not crazy enough to take my lil shoe box when there's a storm warning) and moved on to Baloo's to catch the end of the hockey game with Mui. WE WON!!! AGAIN!!! The habs kick ass!!!!

I love hockey... it makes me happy... I need happy... it's awesome to be able to scream and laugh and swear with a crowd of strangers for something that has no consequences whatsoever on anything that matters. No war will be won or lost over it, no jobs found, no pay raised, the world won't stop turning... but for 2:30 hours, hundreds of thousand of people will focus on a common goal.. that the Montreal Canadians will score more than the other team and win. And if they do, everyone will be as happy as if they had won the game themselves. It's nice... I like that..

I drove home after the game... fighting the elements. Downtown Montreal had a post-apocalyptic look about it. There was a blackout on St-Denis, the stores and restaurants were all closed and dark, no street or signal lights, the snow was blowing side ways, visibility ranged from 15' to 3" depending on wind.. there was about 3 cars on the road and 2 lost souls on the sidewalk... I would have taken pictures, but decided to concentrate on not crashing the car instead. Driving felt more like ice-skating...

I only have 3 days left in town... and still a million things to do before I can board the plane :S
I'm back to writing packing-shopping-todo lists so I don't forget anything... good news is i don't have time to stress about leaving..
I'm at the "what the fuck am I doing this for" stage, that always happen before I leave for a long time. I hate leaving.. love arriving.. hate leaving...
This time though it's not tourism it's school.. so the "I'm too stupid to do this course" stage is well on its way too. Only time will tell if i am indeed too stupid or if I'll kick ass at it...

Monday, March 3, 2008

Sometimes a song says it all

I feel like dedicating this song to someone...

In Pieces
by Linkin Park

telling me to go
but hands beg me to stay
your lips say that you love
your eyes say that you hate

there's truth in your lies
doubt in your faith
what you build you lay to waste
there's truth in your lies
doubt in your faith
all I've got's what you didn't take

so I, I won't be the one
be the one to leave this
in pieces
and you, you will be alone
alone with all your secrets
your regrets
don't lie

you promise me the sky
then toss me like a stone
you wrap me in your arms
and chill me to the bone

there's truth in your lies
and doubt in your faith
what you build you lay to waste
there's truth in your lies
doubt in your faith
all I've got's what you didn't take

so I, I won't be the one
be the one to leave this
in pieces
and you, you will be alone
alone with all your secrets
your regrets
don't lie